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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Successful People: The 8 Self-Limiting Behaviors They Avoid

http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/advisor/successful-people--the-8-self-limiting-behaviors-they-avoid-184436770.html

Successful People: The 8 Self-Limiting Behaviors They Avoid

In my work, I’ve been fortunate to learn from amazingly successful, impactful professionals and entrepreneurs.  I’m defining “success” here as achieving what matters most to you, individually and authentically – not as some objective measure of outer wealth, accomplishment or achievement.  Observing people in action who are living fully on their terms and absolutely loving it, I’ve seen how they think, react, interrelate, problem solve, and lead.  I’ve applied these lessons to my own life, and to those I coach.
I’ve noted that people who love what they do for a living and have created tremendous success and reward, not only engage continuously in life-supporting behaviors, but also avoid certain negative actions and mindsets that other, less successful people habitually get lost in.
The 8 self-limiting, negative behaviors successful people avoid are:
Engaging in “below the line” thinking
“Below the line” thinking refers to a particular mindset that shapes how you view the world in a limiting way.  It leads to your believing that what’s happening to you is outside your control and everyone else’s fault – the economy, your industry, your boss, your spouse, etc.  Below the line thinking says, “It’s not fair what’s happening, and I don’t have what it takes to overcome these challenges. I didn’t expect this and I can’t handle it.”  Above the line thinking, on the other hand, says, “I clearly see the obstacles ahead, and I’m addressing them with open eyes.  I’m accountable for my life and my career, and I have what it takes to navigate through this successfully.  If I fail, I’ll still wake up tomorrow exactly who I am, and will have learned something critical.”
Mistaking fantastical wishful thinking for action
Successful professionals pursue outcomes that flow organically from their current actions. Unsuccessful individuals attach to fantasies that may relieve them momentarily of their situational pain but have no basis in reality.  For instance, I’ve heard from corporate professionals who share, “Kathy, I really hate my job and desperately want to leave.  I’ve been wanting to write a book and become a motivational speaker for several years now.  What’s your advice?”  I’ll respond, “OK, great.  Are you writing and speaking?” and more often than not, the answer will be, “Uh…no.”  You can’t write a book if you’re not writing anything, and you can’t speak in public if you haven’t developed any material to speak about.   It’s critical to take bold action toward your visions, in order to create success.  Successful people develop huge goals too, but they crush them down into smaller, digestible (but courageous) action steps that they then build on, which leads naturally to the end goal they’re pursuing.
Remaining powerless and speechless
Successful people are in touch with their power, and are not afraid to use it and express it.  They advocate and negotiate strongly for themselves and for others, and for what they care about, and don’t shy away from articulating just how they stand apart from the competition.  They know how they contribute uniquely and the value they bring to the table.   In addition, they don’t wait to bring up concerns – they tackle challenges head on, speaking about them openly, with calm, poise and grace.  They don’t hide from their problems.  And they don’t perceive themselves as hapless victims.    
Putting off investing in themselves
I see this behavior over and over in those who feel thwarted and unsuccessful – they are incredibly reluctant to invest time, money and energy in themselves and their own growth.  They are comfortable only when putting other people’s needs ahead of their own.  They’ll make any excuse for why now is NOT the time to invest in themselves or commit to change.  They feel guilt, shame and anxiety over claiming “I’m worth this.”  Successful people don’t wait – they spend money, time and effort on their own growth because they know without doubt it will pay off – for themselves and everyone around them. 
Resisting change
Successful people don’t break themselves against what is or drown in the changing tides.  They go with the flow.  They follow the trends, and embrace them.  They are flexible, fluid and nimble.  They react to what’s in front of them, and improvise deftly.   Those who are unsuccessful bemoan what is appearing before them, and stay stuck in the past or in what they “expected,” complaining about how life is not what it should be and why what is feels so wrong. 
Honoring other people’s priorities over their own
Successful people know what matters most to them – their priorities, values, concerns, and their mission and purpose.  They don’t float aimlessly on a sea of possibility – they are masters of their own ship and know where they want to head, and make bold moves in the direction of their dreams.  To do this, they are very clear about their top priorities in life and work, and won’t be waylaid by the priorities and values of others.  In short, they have very well-defined boundaries, and know where they end and others begin.  They say “no” to endeavors and behaviors (and thinking) that will push them off track.  They know what they want to create and the legacy they want to leave behind in this lifetime, and honor that each day. (To get clearer on your priorities, values, and desires for the next chapter of your life and work, take my free Career Path Self-Assessment.)

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Doubting themselves and their instincts
Those who doubt themselves, lack trust in their own gut or instincts, or second-guess themselves continually find themselves far from where they want to be.  Successful professionals believe in themselves without fail.  Sure, they acknowledge they have “power gaps” or blind spots, and areas that need deep development.  But they forgive themselves for what they don’t know and the mistakes they’ve made, and accept themselves.  They keep going with hope and optimism, knowing that the lessons from these missteps will serve them well in the future.
Searching for handouts and easy answers
I can often tell from the first contact I have with someone if they’ll be likely to succeed in their new entrepreneurial venture and career, or not.  How? By the nature of their expectations, and how they set out to fulfill them.  Here’s an example – if a complete stranger reaches out to me expecting free help without considering what she may offer in return, it’s a bad sign.  Let’s say she asks something like this: “I’m launching my new business and wondered if you can give me some advice. I can’t pay you because I’m a startup, but I hope you can help me anyway.”  
From this one email, I know she’s not ready to make it happen in her own business.  Why? Because successful professionals (and those destined to be) wouldn’t consider asking for help in this way.  Instead, they: 1) understand that they have something important and valuable to offer in any situation, 2) are willing and happy to share or barter that in return for what they want, and 3) they treat others exactly as they would like to be treated. 
Successful professionals are respectful, resourceful, curious, competent, tenacious, and they figure out how to get the help they need without asking for handouts.  That doesn’t mean they don’t seek assistance when and where they need it , or make use of the many free resources available to them (like Score.org, etc.).  It means that they don’t expect something for nothing.  They treat others equitably and fairly and know they deserve the same.  Successful professionals realize that if they’re not willing to pay for products and services they want, then others won’t be willing to pay them (yes, it works like karma). 
They also know that their success is directly proportionate to the effort they put in.  Most of allthey understand there are no short cuts or easy answers on the road to success.
More from Forbes
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Top 100 Photos of the Year 2012

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/7ghaBX

Top 100 Photos of the Year 2012



*Please note the photographs themselves were not necessarily taken in 2012, they just happened to be featured as a POTD this year. The pictures are also listed in reverse chronological order. There is no ranking amongst the photos 
Enjoy! 
100. CHICAGO FROM AFAR 
 
Photograph by Robert Elves on Flickr 

99. THE ROLLER COASTER SUBMERGED BY SANDY 
 
Photograph by Stephen Wilkes | Prints available 

98. A DESERT OASIS IN LIBYA

Photograph by George Steinmetz 
97. SAN FRANCISCO AIRPORT AT NIGHT 
 
Photograph by Andrew Choy 
96. THE ALPINISTS 
 
Photograph by Jakub Polomski on 500px 

95. INSIDE THE OLD METROPOLITAN OPERA HOUSE 
 
Photograph via The Natioanl Archives and Records Administration 

94. THE POWER OF AN ORANGE

Photograph by Caleb Charland 

93. TITANIC’S ENGINES UNDERWATER 
 
COPYRIGHT© 2012 RMS TITANIC, INC; Produced by Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute 
92. SUNRISE OVER LONDON’S TOWER BRIDGE 
 
Photograph by Jason Pope 
91. THE WHITE WHALE 
 
Photograph by Dan Fisher 
90. NUGGET POINT LIGHTHOUSE, NEW ZEALAND 
 
Photograph by Scott Robertson 
89. VINTAGE NEW YORK, 1935 
 
Photograph by Berenice Abbott 
88. OUR SUN ERUPTS 
 
Photograph by NASA/GSFC/SDO 
87. THE EYE OF THE DRAIN 
 
Photograph by Liammm on Reddit 
86. SNOWMOBILING THE NORWAY-SWEDEN BORDER 
 
Photograph by haqbar on Reddit 
85. A CABIN THAT FLOATS 
 
Photograph by Marcus Peabody 
84. THE SLEEPING GODDESS 
 
Photograph by The Lost Gardens of Heligan 
83. A TINY HERMIT CRAB CLOSE-UP 
 
Photograph by sleepychinchilla on Flickr 
82. PURPLE HAZE OVER EDINBURGH CASTLE 
 
Photograph by Scott Hutcheson (SMHutch Photography on Flickr) 
81. THE COCONUT OCTOPUS 
 
Photograph by Mario Neumann (scuba.hamburg on Flickr) 
80. A CLOUD ILLUMINATED BY LIGHTNING 
 
Photograph by Mike Jones (mrjones131 on Flickr) 
79. A TINY RIVER HOUSE IN SERBIA 
 
Photograph by Irene Becker for National Geographic 
78. A SUBMARINE SURFACES THROUGH ARCTIC ICE 
 
Photograph by Tiffini M. Jones, U.S. Navy 
77. A WALL OF FALL 
 
Photograph by Eric Forey (Kala___ on Flickr) | Prints Available 
76. AN AIRPLANE CROSSES THE MOON 
 
Photograph by Chris Thomas 
75. THE RED ZONE AT THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM 
 
Photograph by Elia Locardi on Google+ | blamethemonkey.com 
74. ONE TRIPPY PROFILE PIC 
 
Photograph via persnicketypoop on Reddit 
73. LIONESSES AT THE WATERING HOLE 
 
Photograph by Ranger Chad Cocking of the Motswari Private Game Reserve 
72. DEATH BEGETS LIFE 
 
Photograph by Ireena Worthy on Flickr 
71. MOUNT FUJI FROM ABOVE 
 
Photograph via news.mydrivers.com 
70. SKYDIVING INTO BURNING MAN 
 
Photograph via opi8 on Reddit 

69. THE ONLY AMERICAN NOT ON EARTH ON SEPT 11

Photograph by NASA
68. THE VENEZUELAN POODLE MOTH

Photograph by Arthur Anker on Flickr
67. THE PERSEIDS METEOR SHOWER

Photograph by David Kingham on Flickr | Prints Available
66. AN X-RAY OF A STINGRAY

Photograph by Ken Jones
65. THE POWER OF ONE SMALL STEP

Photograph by NASA
64. MOTH TRAILS AT NIGHT

Photograph by Steve Irvine for National Geographic
63. JUST A PINCH

Photograph by mmarsupilami on Flickr
62. EVOLUTION OF THE NEW YORK SKYLINE

Photograph via Lee @ tier1dc.blogspot.com
61. AN ELEPHANT MEETS A SEA LION

Photograph by Michael Durham via The Oregon Zoo
60. FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

Photograph via moctodtidderptth on Reddit
59. AN OLYMPIC FULL MOON

Photograph by REUTERS/Luke MacGrego (via Reuters Olympics on Facebook)
58. BASE JUMPING IN RIO

Photograph by Wolfgang Luif/Red Bull Content Pool
57. THE BOMBING OF DRESDEN

Photograph by Richard Peter
56. HOTTEST. KISS. EVER.

Photograph by Dallas Nagata on Google+
55. WHERE THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA MEETS THE SEA

Photograph via Better_Be-Safe on Reddit
54. THE CHICAGO SKYLINE FROM INDIANA

Photograph by Tom Adams on Reddit
53. LIVING ON THE EDGE

Photograph by Tim Kemple
52. THE MOLOKINI CRATER IN HAWAII

Photograph by Ron Garnett/Hawaii Tourism Authority
51. IF JUPITER WAS THE SAME DISTANCE AS THE MOON

Artwork by jb2386 on Reddit
50. A SEAHORSE INSPECTS A DIVER’S WATCH

Photograph by Don McLeish 
49. AN ILLUMINATED SNOW TUNNEL IN RUSSIA

Photograph by Michael Zelensky
48. THE HONEYBEE’S FINAL STING

Photograph by Kathy Keatley Garvey
47. EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING

Photograph by China Foto Press
46. STREET ARTIST SAINER GOES BIG IN POLAND

Photograph via Fundacja Urban Forms on Facebook
45. MOUNT RAINIER CASTING A SHADOW ON CLOUDS

Photograph by Nick Lippert (via Komo News)
44. FIRST CONTACT

Photograph by CMGW Photography on Flickr
43. THE IRISH SKY GARDEN CRATER

Photograph by Liss Ard Estate
42. MOON BRIDGE IN DAHU PARK, TAIPEI

Photograph by bbe022001 on Flickr
41. FLIGHT OF THE DEVIL RAYS

Photograph by FLORIAN SCHULTZ
40. GÁSADALUR VILLAGE IN THE FAROE ISLANDS

Photograph by GARETH CODD PHOTOGRAPHY on Flickr
39. WORLD’S EDGE

Photograph by RHYS DAVIES
38. THE CAPILANO SUSPENSION BRIDGE IN VANCOUVER

Photograph by MICHELLE LEE
37. FRACTAL PATTERNS IN DRIED OUT DESERT RIVERS

Photograph by ADRIANA FRANCO for National Geographic
36. MEDITATING MONKS AT PONGOUR FALLS

Photograph by DANG NGO – Prints Available
35. HANGING OUT ON THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE, 1914

Photograph by Eugene de Salignac/Courtesy NYC Municipal Archives
34. A SUNSET ECLIPSE

Photograph by GIL NARTEA
33. BORA BORA FROM SPACE

Photograph by PLEIADES-HR SATELLITE
32. THE LARGEST RAFT OF CANOES AND KAYAKS IN THE WORLD

Photograph by NANCIE BATTAGLIA for National Geographic
31. ADAPTIVE ROOTS IN THE CONCRETE JUNGLE

Photograph by HORST KIECHLE
30. THE HAMILTON POOL NATURE PRESERVE

Photograph by DAVE WILSON PHOTOGRAPHY 
29. ABOVE THE CANOPY

Photograph by MICHAEL NICHOLS for National Geographic [Print Available]
28. COLLIDING RIVERS IN GENEVA, SWITZERLAND

Photograph via I_let_my_dog_lick_my on Reddit
27. THE STUNNING GREEN VINE SNAKE

Photograph by SUHAAS PREMKUMAR for National Geographic
26. AURORA AUSTRALIS (SOUTHERN LIGHTS) FROM SPACE

Photograph by André Kuipers / ESA / NASA
25. MOUNT KILIMANJARO FROM ABOVE

Photograph by KYLE MIJLOF @ kylemijlof.blogspot.co.uk
24. THE AMAZING STRENGTH OF AN ANT

Photograph by Yu Wu for National Geographic – Your Shot
23. YARN BOMBING A BUS IN MEXICO CITY

Artwork by Magda Sayeg (Photograph by Cesar Ortega)
22. FELIX BAUMGARTNER JUMPS FROM SPACE

© Jay Nemeth/Red Bull Content Pool
21. THE MOST INCREDIBLE AURORA OF 2012

Photograph courtesy of Jónína Óskarsdóttir for NASA
20. THE WATERFALL ISLAND AT IGUAZU FALLS

Photograph by Andrew Murray on Flickr
19. OVERGROWN RAILROAD TRACKS IN THE FOREST

Photograph by T.-C on Flickr
18. A POD OF SLEEPING SPERM WHALES

Photograph by Wild Wonders of Europe [www.wild-wonders.com] via Business & Biodiversity Campaign
17. 7 HOURS IN ONE IMAGE

Photograph by Isil Karanfil (isilkrnfl on deviantART)
16. PIXEL PEOPLE PERFECTION

Artwork by Craig Alan via Artexpo (Eric Smith) on Flickr
15. GALACTIC MONSOON

Photograph by BRET WEBSTER
14. STRIKING ARTISTRY OF MULTIPLE TAKEOFFS AT HANNOVER AIRPORT

Photograph by HO-YEOL RYU
13. THE KEEL WALK

Photograph by ALEX THOMSON RACING
12. A SEA OF PURPLE IN THE BADLANDS OF UTAH

Photograph by GUY TAL PHOTOGRAPHY | Print Available for Sale
11. PUTTING THE SIZE OF A WHALE IN PERSPECTIVE

Photograph via timz45 on Reddit
10. MEANWHILE IN SWITZERLAND

Photograph by Reuters/Denis Balibouse
9. ONE BOAT AND 145 WATER-SKIERS

Photograph by MARK SEATON PHOTOGRAPHY
8. SALAR DE UYUNI AFTER SOME RAIN

Photograph via Paean on Reddit
7. OUTDOOR JACUZZI ON THE MATTERHORN

Photograph via Iglu-Dorf.com
6. THE PRECIOUS BLUE MARBLE

Photograph by NASA/NOAA/GSFC/Suomi NPP/VIIRS/Norman Kuring
5. MAELSTROM AT KAUAI, HAWAII

Photograph by PATRICK SMITH PHOTOGRAPHY
4. CAPSIZED CRUISE SHIP COSTA CONCORDIA FROM SPACE

Photograph by DIGITALGLOBE.COM
3. Serenity Now

Photograph by ZAK NOYLE for SURFER MAGAZINE
2. BEAUTIFUL BERN FROM ABOVE

Photograph via loki010 on Reddit
1. FIRST RISING SUN OF 2012

Photograph by JIJI Press/AFP/Getty Images 
29. ABOVE THE CANOPY 
 
Photograph by MICHAEL NICHOLS for National Geographic [Print Available] 
28. COLLIDING RIVERS IN GENEVA, SWITZERLAND 
 
Photograph via I_let_my_dog_lick_my on Reddit 
27. THE STUNNING GREEN VINE SNAKE 
 
Photograph by SUHAAS PREMKUMAR for National Geographic 
26. AURORA AUSTRALIS (SOUTHERN LIGHTS) FROM SPACE 
 
Photograph by André Kuipers / ESA / NASA 
25. MOUNT KILIMANJARO FROM ABOVE 
 
Photograph by KYLE MIJLOF @ kylemijlof.blogspot.co.uk 
24. THE AMAZING STRENGTH OF AN ANT 
 
Photograph by Yu Wu for National Geographic – Your Shot 
23. YARN BOMBING A BUS IN MEXICO CITY 
 
Artwork by Magda Sayeg (Photograph by Cesar Ortega) 
22. FELIX BAUMGARTNER JUMPS FROM SPACE 
 
© Jay Nemeth/Red Bull Content Pool 
21. THE MOST INCREDIBLE AURORA OF 2012 
 
Photograph courtesy of Jónína Óskarsdóttir for NASA 
20. THE WATERFALL ISLAND AT IGUAZU FALLS 
 
Photograph by Andrew Murray on Flickr 
19. OVERGROWN RAILROAD TRACKS IN THE FOREST 
 
Photograph by T.-C on Flickr 
18. A POD OF SLEEPING SPERM WHALES 
 
Photograph by Wild Wonders of Europe [www.wild-wonders.com] via Business & Biodiversity Campaign 
17. 7 HOURS IN ONE IMAGE 
 
Photograph by Isil Karanfil (isilkrnfl on deviantART) 
16. PIXEL PEOPLE PERFECTION 
 
Artwork by Craig Alan via Artexpo (Eric Smith) on Flickr 
15. GALACTIC MONSOON 
 
Photograph by BRET WEBSTER 
14. STRIKING ARTISTRY OF MULTIPLE TAKEOFFS AT HANNOVER AIRPORT 
 
Photograph by HO-YEOL RYU 
13. THE KEEL WALK 
 
Photograph by ALEX THOMSON RACING 
12. A SEA OF PURPLE IN THE BADLANDS OF UTAH 
 
Photograph by GUY TAL PHOTOGRAPHY | Print Available for Sale 
11. PUTTING THE SIZE OF A WHALE IN PERSPECTIVE 
 
Photograph via timz45 on Reddit 
10. MEANWHILE IN SWITZERLAND 
 
Photograph by Reuters/Denis Balibouse 
9. ONE BOAT AND 145 WATER-SKIERS 
 
Photograph by MARK SEATON PHOTOGRAPHY 
8. SALAR DE UYUNI AFTER SOME RAIN 
 
Photograph via Paean on Reddit 
7. OUTDOOR JACUZZI ON THE MATTERHORN 
 
Photograph via Iglu-Dorf.com 
6. THE PRECIOUS BLUE MARBLE 
 
Photograph by NASA/NOAA/GSFC/Suomi NPP/VIIRS/Norman Kuring 
5. MAELSTROM AT KAUAI, HAWAII 
 
Photograph by PATRICK SMITH PHOTOGRAPHY 
4. CAPSIZED CRUISE SHIP COSTA CONCORDIA FROM SPACE 
 
Photograph by DIGITALGLOBE.COM 
3. Serenity Now 
 
Photograph by ZAK NOYLE for SURFER MAGAZINE 
2. BEAUTIFUL BERN FROM ABOVE 
 
Photograph via loki010 on Reddit 
1. FIRST RISING SUN OF 2012 
 
Photograph by JIJI Press/AFP/Getty Images 
29. ABOVE THE CANOPY 
 
Photograph by MICHAEL NICHOLS for National Geographic [Print Available] 
28. COLLIDING RIVERS IN GENEVA, SWITZERLAND 
 
Photograph via I_let_my_dog_lick_my on Reddit 
27. THE STUNNING GREEN VINE SNAKE 
 
Photograph by SUHAAS PREMKUMAR for National Geographic 
26. AURORA AUSTRALIS (SOUTHERN LIGHTS) FROM SPACE 
 
Photograph by André Kuipers / ESA / NASA 
25. MOUNT KILIMANJARO FROM ABOVE 
 
Photograph by KYLE MIJLOF @ kylemijlof.blogspot.co.uk 
24. THE AMAZING STRENGTH OF AN ANT 
 
Photograph by Yu Wu for National Geographic – Your Shot 
23. YARN BOMBING A BUS IN MEXICO CITY 
 
Artwork by Magda Sayeg (Photograph by Cesar Ortega) 
22. FELIX BAUMGARTNER JUMPS FROM SPACE 
 
© Jay Nemeth/Red Bull Content Pool 
21. THE MOST INCREDIBLE AURORA OF 2012 
 
Photograph courtesy of Jónína Óskarsdóttir for NASA 
20. THE WATERFALL ISLAND AT IGUAZU FALLS 
 
Photograph by Andrew Murray on Flickr 
19. OVERGROWN RAILROAD TRACKS IN THE FOREST 
 
Photograph by T.-C on Flickr 
18. A POD OF SLEEPING SPERM WHALES 
 
Photograph by Wild Wonders of Europe [www.wild-wonders.com] via Business & Biodiversity Campaign 
17. 7 HOURS IN ONE IMAGE 
 
Photograph by Isil Karanfil (isilkrnfl on deviantART) 
16. PIXEL PEOPLE PERFECTION 
 
Artwork by Craig Alan via Artexpo (Eric Smith) on Flickr 
15. GALACTIC MONSOON 
 
Photograph by BRET WEBSTER 
14. STRIKING ARTISTRY OF MULTIPLE TAKEOFFS AT HANNOVER AIRPORT 
 
Photograph by HO-YEOL RYU 
13. THE KEEL WALK 
 
Photograph by ALEX THOMSON RACING 
12. A SEA OF PURPLE IN THE BADLANDS OF UTAH 
 
Photograph by GUY TAL PHOTOGRAPHY | Print Available for Sale 
11. PUTTING THE SIZE OF A WHALE IN PERSPECTIVE 
 
Photograph via timz45 on Reddit 
10. MEANWHILE IN SWITZERLAND 
 
Photograph by Reuters/Denis Balibouse
9. ONE BOAT AND 145 WATER-SKIERS 
 
Photograph by MARK SEATON PHOTOGRAPHY 
8. SALAR DE UYUNI AFTER SOME RAIN 
 
Photograph via Paean on Reddit 
7. OUTDOOR JACUZZI ON THE MATTERHORN 
 
Photograph via Iglu-Dorf.com 
6. THE PRECIOUS BLUE MARBLE 
 
Photograph by NASA/NOAA/GSFC/Suomi NPP/VIIRS/Norman Kuring 
5. MAELSTROM AT KAUAI, HAWAII 
 
Photograph by PATRICK SMITH PHOTOGRAPHY 
4. CAPSIZED CRUISE SHIP COSTA CONCORDIA FROM SPACE 
 
Photograph by DIGITALGLOBE.COM 
3. Serenity Now 
 
Photograph by ZAK NOYLE for SURFER MAGAZINE 
2. BEAUTIFUL BERN FROM ABOVE 
 
Photograph via loki010 on Reddit 

1. FIRST RISING SUN OF 2012 

 
Photograph by JIJI Press/AFP/Getty Images