Eric Millikin: Sun eruption caught in totally hot video; naked man shot after choking a Rottweiler | Blog: Eric Millikin | Detroit Free Press | freep.com:
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Eric Millikin: Sun eruption caught in totally hot video; naked man shot after choking a Rottweiler
This NASA image released on January 4, 2013 shows a solar eruption as it gracefully rose up from the sun on December 31, 2012. / AFP/Getty Images
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Truly the most important news stories in the universe today.
Sun eruption caught in totally hot video
Los Angeles Times says: "The sun celebrated New Year's Eve with an elegant solar eruption that, thanks to NASA, served to remind us just how puny we Earthlings are. ... The eruption (see video below), which occurred on Monday over the course of about four hours, extended about 160,000 miles out from the sun. Our planet is about 7,900 miles in diameter, which means, the space agency said, the eruption was about 20 times the diameter of Earth."
Eric says: Sent in by my BFF (Bizarre Fact Finder) Leigh C. who says, "Better than Uranus erupting?"
Naked man shot after choking a Rottweiler
Sun Sentinel (Florida) says: "A Miami man — naked, no less — was shot after he jumped the fence of a Little Haiti home and began choking a Rottweiler. The dog's yelps awakened the homeowner ... [The naked man] jumped on the homeowner and began choking and biting him ... 'The person was naked, on the front porch choking his dog,'" said police spokeswoman Napier Velazquez. 'That's when the resident shot him in the foot.'"
Eric says: The new rules of journalism say a "Dog bites man" story is worth less than a "Man bites dog" story which is worth less than a "Naked man bites dog's owner" story which is worth even less than a "Dog chokes naked man" story.
Man, distraught over pet snake's death, shoots his Dale Earnhardt collection
Charlotte Observer says: "A Lincoln County man charged with killing a pet snake says the animal was already dead when he shot it. ... 'I had to shoot it to get the gas out of him, then I was going to burn him.' ... [The man] claimed he was so distraught over the snake’s death, he shot up the large cabinet that contained his Dale Earnhardt collection."
Eric says: I think we've all been there. I am observing two moments of silence: One for the man's pet snake, the other for his Dale Earnhardt collection.
Man threw manhole cover at car during argument
News Channel 5 (Nashville) says: "A man was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after throwing a manhole cover at a car during an argument ... An argument broke out over a woman ... The manhole cover shattered the passenger side window and left a large dent in the door. Fortunately, no one was injured."
Eric says: I can't believe he threw the whole thing.
Have a great weekend everyone. And stay out of trouble; I don't want to hear any stories about you throwing a manhole cover at your Dale Earnhardt collection.
Great moments in Eric Millikin history
- Coyotes attack man walking dog; daughter arrested for Frisbee
- Ghost stole $5,000 resume; gunmen killed stealing 'Pokemon'
- Man eats 28 raw eggs, dies; flatulence underpants fly off shelves
- Major busts: Cocaine breast implants, bra stuffed with heroin
- For Monkey Day, the 5 wildest monkey stories of 2012
- Amnesiac found nude, attacked by ants behind Burger King
- Sharp-dressed monkey at IKEA wears coat, diaper
- Fake undertaker tries to steal dead fiance's engagement rings
- Cops say you have the right to remain stoned, eating pizzas
- Cops seize $3M in fake Viagra, Angry Birds with rat droppings
- Woman with bear spray, sword defeats knife-wielding thief
- Whiskey saves man's eyesight after he was blinded by vodka
- North Korea confirms unicorn lair
- ACLU defends right to build middle finger out of Christmas lights
- Self-defense claimed in gun, gators, marijuana, stripper pole case
- Bogus dentist accused of kissing buttocks of woman
- Woman clogs toilet, man shot; Robotic dinosaur erection ridiculed
Eric Millikin is an artist who enjoys bizarre stories and cracking jokes. Thanks to my BFFs (Bizarre Fact Finders) for news tips; you can also send yours to eamillikin@freepress.com. Your jokes go in comments, and then we all laugh real hard. For more, go tofreep.com/ericmillikin and follow me at facebook.com/ericmillikinand twitter.com/ericmillikin
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